A Time for Healing, A Time for Release

My Fourth of July didn't go quite as expected.  Nothing seemed to go quite as planned. Little things were twisted energetically. Nothing bad, just different.  In the end, potential plans were scrapped.  People who normally invite me over to gatherings didn't.  Lunch at my grandparent's farm still happened, but it was just a bit "off".

Once I returned home I felt this horrible crushing fatigue and knew I needed to take a long soak in the tub, even though it was early.  My bubble baths are basically meditation time for me.  It's the only time I know I will be left alone to my peace.  Last night as I was floating along, I realized what was happening.  In a way, I had asked for all of this. At ritual the night before, I had asked for help from my Goddess.  I am going through some difficult things in my life right now, and my support system is slowing fizzling.  Apparently it was exciting and interesting when it was new, but now that things are getting serious and I really need the support, people just aren't inclined to be there.  I also have severe fibromyalgia and this means that extreme stress and not getting enough rest or proper care can run me down to the point my system pretty much crashes.  That is what happened last night.

Normally, it really worries me when I feel it coming, but last night, during my mediation, She told me not to fight it this time.  Instead I should embrace the crash and allow my body to heal.  When I woke, I would know what to do.  And so, I got out of the tub, ate something, and then curled up in bed with my kitties.  I slept, and I dreamed.  I was asleep for fourteen hours instead of my normal five or six.  I dreamed of many things, many people, many places.  I learned things.  I saw potential outcomes for decisions I have coming soon.  But most importantly, I healed.  I asked for help, and She answered!

Today, I am a different person.  I am ready to eliminate things which don't fit in with my new life.  I have a new plan of personal study.  I have a new focus.  My life will greatly change, but in a good way.  It seems She has decided I am ready for the next stretch of my journey.  I am very excited! I have no idea where this path leads, but I am ready to find out, shedding things from my past that no longer serve me.  Maybe someone else will find them, dust them off and find value.  Maybe they will lie there, undisturbed, only to be slowly covered by the earth, or maybe the elements will take them and shape them into something else.  After all, nothing is ever destroyed, only transformed into something new.

That is what is happening to me, I am being forged into something new.  Not gently, by a light breeze or softly flowing water, but with the passion and power of fire!  I have felt the flames around me for days. Now I know why. The fire shall forge me into a strong, empowered woman.  The timing could not have been more perfect.  And now, dear readers, I am off to dance in the flames!