And One Day, Suddenly You Were Strong...

Many of us have pain, great pain. We keep it hidden from the world, wrapped up in shield after shield hoping we will manage to somehow never really deal with it. If some little crack in those shields appears, we frantically fill it with whatever we can, hoping & praying those repairs will hold.  We do this for years.  We put so much effort into hiding from this pain, this does injury to our inner selves. Slowly, our self-esteem crumbles.  We may overcompensate to pretend this injury doesn't exist, laughing a little too loudly, saying "no, it doesn't matter" a bit too often, or we slowly give in to the crumbing and lose faith in ourselves, actually believing that we aren't that special, doubting our abilities, or maybe even accepting that we are meant to have a life alone except for those few friends..  However we respond, slowly our life become less than it could be.

Then one day, one not so special day, it happens.  Something, some song on the radio, a random comment you overhear, or something else entirely. Just some THING hits you right in the heart and suddenly, you know.  It's time to let down the shields and deal with it.  This can be terrifying.  Just the thought of pulling down those shields to get to the agony inside can be enough to make you truly physically ill. But in this moment, you know that it would be worse to leave them up. This is when true fear often hits.  With the shields up, you could ignore this pain.  Now you have to face all the darkness that is buried inside. All the trauma from your past that led to this problem will coming spilling out and must be dealt with.

Two beloved people in my life are currently dealing with their own pain in this way. They are learning to finally be true to themselves and do what is best for them, not everyone else. One is doing this mostly on their own with the occasional late-night discussion to vent and ask for another perspective. The other is having a very difficult time and is needing frequent encouragement. Neither way is wrong. It can be so difficult to let your spirit shine and follow your true path to bliss.  If you need the encouragement, look to those in your life who truly just want you happy, whatever it takes. They will be there for you every step of the way.You will unfortunately come across some in your life who immediately will cause you difficulty. Maybe they are so set on their path that they have blinders on to anything else, or maybe they are jealous that you have found the courage they lack.  Whatever the reason, these people will inevitably be encountered on your journey. It can be heart-breaking to deal with them, but this is part of your journey.  You can't tear down those shields & expect the climb through the rubble to be easy.  There will be challenges, but take heart!  These challenges will all make you stronger than you can imagine when you emerge.

This is not a quick journey, but it is worth the struggle.  You will lose some friends. This is a sad truth and one of the hardest parts of this process.  But you will gain others. These will be people who accept you for all that you are. In the end you will find true joy. You will find yourself surrounded by people who love you. You will feel confident in what you do. You will wake up each morning with a smile on your face. All this will happen because one day, suddenly you were strong...

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